Relaxed focus

Article From Brian Germain's Book: Transcending Fear, The Doorway to Freedom

Acting RelaxedIn order to alter our course toward escalation, the first step is always the same: we must find a way to relax. This is easy to say in words, but it can be a monumental task when you are enveloped in something genuinely terrifying. Even when we are deep into an emotional reaction, we have the ability to perform the behaviors that begin the process of cooling down. True, we may not get all the way to absolute calmness, but acting calm has the ability to transform a state of panic into a workable reality.
If we begin to slow down, our bodies will send positive messages to our brains. The message will say "all clear, everything is under control." This white flag of peace comes in the form of neurotransmitters and other chemicals that kick in our parasympathetic systems. This is how the body heals itself. We move toward a state of rest, and everything starts to become clear again: we sober up to our natural state of clarity.
William James, the "Father of Modern Psychology", believed that our physiological reactions actually create the emotional experience. This belief has formed the fundamental infrastructure upon which modern emotional psychology is built. The experience of emotion, according to the "James-Lange Theory", comes as a result of the brain's interpretation of the body's state of physiological arousal. I see a bear, I run, my heart pounds faster, I notice the arousal and experience that I am afraid. It is not the object of my fear, the bear in this case that is causing my fear, but the excited state of my body that defines the emotion.
The brain is merely an interpreter of what is going on in the world, which also includes the body. It does so through awareness of the body's current state of arousal. Once the brain has decided that the situation is dangerous due to the physiological escalation of the body, a "sympathetic" course of events is set in motion. The climate in the brain is altered to one of defense, and the kinds of thoughts that occur to us tend to reflect this worldview. This means that the more negative adrenalin we experience, the more negative our thought patterns tend to be.
James therefore asserted that if the physical changes in our bodies tend to be "parasympathetic" in nature, of calming and slowing down, the kinds of cognitions that tend to occur to us are more solution oriented and positive in nature. The "quiescent" systems alter not only our physical chemistry, but also our subjective experience. James' allegation here is that if we control our physiological state of arousal so as to allow our parasympathetic systems to kick in, we are more likely to survive in the long run. This is called emotional intelligence, the skill that separates us from the other animals of this planet.
The experience of fear is a given in the vast array of human experience. The direction of the initial process is not the determining factor in how situations ultimately evolve. The fact is, we have very little authority over our initial response. The cascading physiological changes begin instantaneously, as a result of our semi-conscious appraisal of the world during the moment in question. Although these "below water level" processes are mostly out of our control, the next move is entirely up to us. The real question is: "How can we minimize our emotional response to the world so that we can continue to make clear, logical decisions?" How do we maintain our composure once we have begun to feel fear?
Emotional responses can only be controlled by focusing our attention on the internal aspects of the experience. If we strive to elicit the opposite physiological experience, we will alter the trend toward escalation. Trying to de-escalate an emotion with mere cognition is like throwing rocks at a tornado. If you want to calm down, you have got to first address the symptoms of fear. If we strive to elicit the opposite physiological experience, says James, we will reduce our overall experience of fear. If, for instance, I choose not to walk faster down a dark city street, I will not become as afraid as I would if I engaged the emotion and all that it suggests in terms of action.
The connection between the mind and the body can be utilized to affect the course of our emotional experience. If we have the ability to manipulate the evolution of our physiological experience, we can redirect the subsequent cognition, and thus the outcome of events in a more positive manner. This was the very reason for which James chose to evolve this line of thinking: to demonstrate that the human race has the ability to chose our emotional reaction to the world. If we know how to de-escalate, we will be more in control over our reality.
Only peace can weave back together the fabric of sanity.
You will not feel calm at first. Do not let this worry you. When I am climbing to altitude with a prototype parachute on my back, I often have a starting point near panic. I notice myself rushing around, moving too fast, and that is my cue to start pretending that I am relaxed. Although it is just an act at first, soon I find my body and mind softening and slowing down to a healthy pace. Once I get into a slower internal rhythm, I regain control over myself, and thus increase my level of safety.
When I find my "sustainable speed", the task is merely to remain slow and in control. Each move I make becomes completely deliberate and methodical. I move like a tree sloth in the heat of summer. By moving through danger in relaxed balance, I dissolve the negativity. By pretending to relax, I have transformed the situation.
If you cannot calm down, there is no hope. In order to remain calm enough to maintain a totally clear head, you must maintain continuous awareness of your arousal level so that any escalation in the emotional tone will be quickly recognized. By doing this, we establish an emotional benchmark to which the current state is compared. All cognitions and behaviors are directed toward the goal of defending the status quo of a low arousal level and peaceful emotional tone. The lower the baseline emotional energy, the easier it is to notice increases in the arousal level.
Breathing Saves LivesWe do not have direct control over our heart rate, blood pressure or the chemical changes that occur in our bodies due to stress. We must therefore focus our energy on the aspects of our physiology that are within our control. The primary method by which we control our bodily response to emotion is through conscious manipulation of our respiration.
When we become highly aroused, the breath becomes shallow and rapid. This decreased amplitude, higher frequency respiration is a stereotypical response to stress, and begins the process of transformation into the caveman within. The body sends messages to the brain with chemical feedback loops that spur the process. As William James aptly points out, the only way to alter the course of escalation is through “Reciprocal Behaviors”. This means doing the opposite of what our basic instincts are telling us to do. We must slow down our breathing and soften our muscles, while focusing our gaze softly on our surrounding so that we may relax.
The technique that seems to yield the greatest effect on our emotional state is first taking in a big breath, and then reducing the rate of exhale. Restricting the diameter of the throat reduces the rate at which air leaves the body, thus altering overall the rate of respiration and causing the exhale to make a bit of a “hissing” sound. In Yoga, this is called “Ujaia” breathing. This technique is used by adventurers of all kinds, from mountain climbers to fighter pilots, and has been proven to have a significant effect on our emotional state, and therefore our performance.
By slowing the rate of respiration, the individual also increases the efficiency of oxygen absorption. Oxygenation of the body increases our physical functionality, as well as promoting the awakeness and responsiveness of the mind. More importantly, conscious attention to the state of the body allows the intellect to remain in touch with an essential aspect of the situation, the physiological state.
If the mind is focused solely on the outside environment, an essential aspect of the situation is not within the scope of our awareness. The state of the body partly determines the individual’s perceived ability, which in turn determines the balance of power between perceived ability and perceived risk. The sum of these is our emotional tone, which in turn affects our actual ability. We can thereby transform the outcome of the situation by altering our physiological response to the environment.
You are the master of Time.Take it when you need it.

SobrietyFocus is our bare attention of the situation. It is an accurate, empirical risk appraisal, rather than merely an assessment of our perceived risks. Our initial appraisal of the situation is often erroneous, and can lead to over-reaction. When we soberly appraise the risk of a given situation, we wake up to the fact that things are rarely as bad as they seem. There is almost always a solution.
Humans tend to be fairly neurotic. We project our negative expectations onto the world, and thus live in a world of negative outcomes. We think we are living in the "real world" when we actually reside in negative expectation. In fact, we are engaging in "Depressive Realism". Rather than consider the possibility that everything is going to be OK, we tend to brace for impact. This worldview is no more real than the Pollyanna perspective that leads us to sit back and wait for someone or something to save us. In order to be completely sane and sober, we must awaken to what is real, and work with things as they are.
Clearing Your HeadThe mind of the average human being on this planet is out of control. It flows where it wants to, like a child with no parent. The untrained mind drifts to whatever the environment suggests, whether or not it is in our best interest. This is why mental training is so important for transcending fear. We must learn how to let our preconceived notions go, and wake up to what is actually happening around us.
Meditation practice is the ultimate tool for developing our ability to let go of thought. By spending time in the state of consciousness devoid of thinking, we begin to define this realm of mind as normal, as opposed to the busy clutter of thoughts that is not within our intelligent control. Studies have shown that many meditation techniques promote quiescent activity in the brain, the calming parasympathetic systems that return us to a state of positive expectation and constructive thinking.
When we experience fear, it comes as a result of thinking. When we are totally focused on the task at hand, there simply is no room for extraneous thinking. It is in the moments when we hesitate and disconnect from the flow of our experience that we make room for negative thought patterns. This is the freeze state. The opposite state of mind is the meditative state, the mode of consciousness that is without thought, and is filled with our bare attention of the present moment.
Every time we freeze in fear we are one step away from relaxed focus. All we need to do is soften our bodies, slow our breathing, and let our thoughts go. The only difference between freezing in fear and relaxing into a state of meditative readiness is where the mind is focused. Despite what most people have accepted, the choice is always there.
We all have the ability to lock onto the task at hand. We can focus our awareness to the point that there is nothing in our minds but the necessary actions that move in parallel with our goals. These actions are not brought to our attention by way of our thinking minds, but through our focused awareness of the situation. We move at the speed that is appropriate, and we pause when it is time to pause.
When there is nothing to actually do, the mind does not always gravitate toward acceptance of what is. If we were to be totally logical about our appraisal, we would decide whether or not there was anything we can do to improve our situation right now. If there is nothing to do, we can fully accept where we are and return to the resting state. Unfortunately, this is not how the human mind works, at least not without training.
When we enter a situation in which there is nothing to do to improve the reality of their situation, we tend to ruminate. We chew on the situation with their minds, mulling over the predicament over and over again. Our minds keep bumping against what is, like a moth against a light bulb. We try thinking about the situation from every possible angle, assuming that "linear logic" will get us through the danger. This is the aspect of the freeze state called "Worry". There is no greater waste of our energy.
Worry is like stepping on the clutch and the accelerator at the same time. There is a lot of noise and heat, but we aren't getting anywhere. We are simply wasting fuel. We do this because we think that we are helping the situation. We think that we can solve our problems by thinking. Yes, our minds are ultimately how we solve life's problems, but when there is nothing to actually do or our thoughts are not taking us where we want to go, we must return to rest.
The epiphanies that solve our problems do not come from the worry state of mind. We believe that thinking is the answer, but if we consider where our best ideas have come from, it is not this state at all that is the source of our answers. It is the peaceful, happy state. When we relax the mind, it works for us. When we try to squeeze it to produce when it is in a negative state, we might as well be trying to get water from a rock. Let go, and trust that your positive state of mind will sublimate your answers.
This brings us to the idea of "Bare Attention". If we observe the situation without manipulative thought, we will see the world as it is. This is the nature of true focus. Perfect focus is an unlabeled observation of the present moment. This is how we get in sync with the situation, and find our way through danger. We simply open our eyes, and pay attention.

This Is ItThere is a state of human consciousness that is indescribable. Csikszentmihalyi referred to this experience as the "Flow State". Others have called it the "Zone". Regardless of the words we choose to explain it, this is the state of perfect happiness. We are in complete control over our experience because we are literally creating it, and due to our deep state of focus, we are in perfect safety.
Despite preconceptions of this state of consciousness, this experience is not necessarily a calm, cool and collected moment like sitting on a rock by a river. Sometimes pure joy comes in the form of a waterfall, with you in a kayak, shrieking in ecstasy. Flow is any experience that is simple of mind, and dynamic in nature, and it is characterized by a profound feeling of happiness.
The traditional perspective on enlightenment always points toward circumstances closely resembling solitary confinement: a white room with no sound, Absolute Peace. But heaven can have movement. This movement can be slow like the gentle flow of yoga, or it can be the graceful flow of snowboarding through light, fluffy powder. Flow is the space in which we let go of our worries, and dive deeply into the world around us. It is complete acceptance of what is going on, and complete cooperation.
Another way to describe this state is "Fun". That's really what we are talking about here: Childlike, cut-loose, radiant fun. It is smiling from the heart: Fun that sees no obstacles, only the path ahead. This is the kind of happiness that is contagious and sustainable. Flow is not only contained within ourselves as an individual experience, but can also be the social environment that is created by each and every person present, by mutual consent. When we all agree to cooperate and be happy, a Social Flow State can be created. This is the destiny of the human race.
If there is one thing that inhibits fun, it is fear. Living completely without fear is unrealistic. If however, we learn to control our emotions, and never let fear take charge of our lives, we can sustain this flow of happiness. By noticing our negative thoughts and simply letting them go, our thoughts have a looser hold on us. We are free to follow them or return to the flow of happiness. We see the thought that is making us afraid, and we make a conscious decision not to follow it to its end. Rather than dwelling on the thought that is provoking us to a state of negativity, we can focus our minds toward a state of creation, and manufacture our reality by choice. All this requires is a change of perspective.
If we are to maximize the amount of time we spend in a state of flow, we must clear out our mental roadblocks to being happy. When we spend energy fueling our limitations and our fear, we are not working toward happiness. The real trouble is, most of us don't really want to let go of our fear, or our suffering for that matter. This is human nature, not in absolute terms, but in inertia. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and a person in misery tends to stay miserable. We hold tightly to our pain because we believe it makes us stronger. We hold onto our fear because we believe it keeps us safe. Neither is true.
Positive PsychologyTraditionally, Psychology and the rest of the medical profession have mostly focused on damage control: helping people up from a continual state of suffering to the mere absence of suffering. The problem with the "absence of suffering" being the goal is that it neglects to consider real happiness. This philosophy simply aims too low. It merely tries to get us from negative one up to zero.
The goal of Positive Psychology is to work toward getting people beyond just zero, up to "positive one". In other words, rather than focusing on minimizing unhappiness, modern psychology is starting to see the value in aiming toward a deeper, more authentic happiness.
I boarded a flight from Stockholm to Copenhagen. A woman sat down next to me, visibly shaking. She had tears in her eyes. I asked her if she was sad about leaving someone behind, but she said she was terrified of flying. She sat down next to the right guy. Funny how that sort of thing works...
I spent the first part of the flight reminding her how to relax. I got her to take slow breaths, soften her muscles and slow her self down. I started to see a change in her behavior.
Next I taught her how airplanes work. Being a pilot myself, I explained the how and why of aerodynamic lift. I explained how the airplane really does want to stay in the air, and the many redundant aircraft systems. We even practiced steering the plane from our seats, applying aileron and rudder input as the plane banked toward Denmark. She still seemed really nervous, but at least she was able to engage in a conversation now.
After a while, I realized that when I fly, I do not spend all of my time trying to relax. I do that when there is nothing else to do. Most of the time, however, I find myself enjoying the ride. This was the missing component. I realized that to take all that energy and try to disperse it was a losing battle. She was too aroused to de-escalate. What I needed to do was change the direction of the energy.
I started to talk about how much I love to fly. I pointed out the gorgeous cloud formations outside the window. I lifted my feet into the air and giggled when the plane went through turbulence. I did what I always do, I had fun. So it turns out, fun is very contagious. By the end of the flight, this librarian and mother of three was practically climbing over me to see out the window.
Gaining control over our energy is not only a matter of calming down. Yes, in order to get to a positive state of mind, de-escalation is necessary. If you can't even communicate because your entire system is locked up, there is no hope of getting into a positive perspective. In situations that are unequivocally real and powerful, it is essential that we maintain a positive interpretation of our adrenalin. It isn't going to just dissolve into thin air; so we might as well use it.
Happiness is not something that creates itself; we have to meet it halfway. The way to do this is to choose your perspective on life. You must choose to see the way to the best possible reality. By believing that there is a higher path, we make ourselves more competent and awake in whatever we do. Consequently our lives become safer, making fear a useless emotion. Once we realize this, fear's grip on us is loosened and we become lighter. There is another name for feeling lighter, it is: "Enlightenment".
Being the PilotThere are two ways in which you may engage your world. You can be the passenger, or you can be the pilot. The passenger is essentially a victim of circumstance. They believe that they are not in control of their situation because they feel that they are not in control over their world. They do not trust themselves to act when action is necessary, so they allow others to control their lives.
Then there is the pilot mentality. When you define yourself as a pilot, you trust that you have the “right stuff” to do what needs to be done in the heat of the moment. You sit down in the seat of control and you chose to be the deliberate creator of what happens. We must not leave this attitude in the cockpit, but carry it into every aspect of our lives. Take the stick. It’s your life after all.
Being driven by inspiration rather than fear is a matter of a conscious decision to be in the driver’s seat of our lives. This is the place of creation, of envisioning what it is that we want and never releasing this intension from our consciousness. The pilot engages the reality of the situation, working with the way things are, but also hold in their mind a better reality that they choose to manifest. This act of deliberate action is what gives a person a profound sense of control over their life, and can lead to only one ultimate outcome: total authentic happiness

Boredom: what is it?

What is boredom? where you are not in tune with the present moment. feeling meaningless. not in tune with the world. also means in subtle ways that u dont feel good about urself and feeling that ur best is not going to be good enough. what does one need to do in this situation? be in tune with the energy.allow yourself to feel. it. being aware of everytho0ugh, every feeling. go into it deeply and not for once wanting to be free of it. this will make it interesting and teaches acceptance of what is inside you which is ultimately not you but a condition for now. awareness sets you free.

Intelligence : what is it?

What is intelligence? is intellect intelligence? or is intelligence the appropriate response to the now without interference from past experiences or without motive. Intelligence is living in the moment and loving what you do deeply and passionately. it means where the actor and the action are one. for example: you can clean the house like a chore or like a painter. if its a job/duty its a burden; but if you are in tune with what you are doing with heightened senses and where you see every moment as sacred and whole, then this is heaven. An intelligent person can never be consistent and he will always shock or suprise you with his responses as they would be from moment to moment and not pre-determined. How to awaken this intelligence? It is by going inward, being in the present moment, doing everything with total awareness.Allowing this moment to be inwardly with non resistance,non attachment and non judgment of what is. Try it!!